Review – Fangs of Fortune

This is how I imagine this show was pitched to the studio executive.

Writer: It’s gonna be a big budget fantasy epic – demons and demon hunters – gods and monsters – fate of the world in the balance.

Executive: It’s all about the face cards these days. We’ll need beautiful actors.

Writer: In the most exquisite and gorgeous costumes you’ve ever seen. We’ll get a cinematographer who can turn every shot into a work of fine art.

Executive: lots of slow mo.

Writer: tons of it. And perfect lighting and lens flare galore.

Executive: fog machines.

Writer: it will be so beautiful no one will notice the plot is kind of thin.

Executive: what?

Writer: so the leading character is this ancient demon who we quickly learn slaughtered everyone at a demon hunting bureau a few years back. He shows up at that same bureau and offers to help the sole survivor.

Executive: he’s a demon that’s gonna help demon hunters?

Writer: specifically this one demon hunter guy, yeah.

Executive: why this dude?

Writer: cause he’s got a cool magic sword and it’s the only weapon that can kill him. The demon wants to die really badly – he’s a suicidal mess behind a sad smile.

Executive: I imagine the demon hunter would be happy to do it. You said the demon killed all his people.

Writer: his brother, his father, everyone.

Executive: so… he kills him?

Writer: no, no. They just make a promise that the demon hunter will kill the demon. Later on. Someday. After the demon has helped him out.

Executive: help him do what exactly?

Writer: stop the other demon hunting bureau.

Executive: why would the demon hunter want to stop other demon hunters?

Writer: the other demon hunters are mean. They kill all demons on sight, whether guilty of any crime or not.

Executive: Okay….

Writer: That’s not important. I feel like it’s important to remember the demon is insanely good looking. And playful. And all powerful. The demon hunter is also ridiculously good looking. And serious. And figuring out his power.

Executive: sort of a ying yang thing? Soft one, hard one?

Writer: yeah these two are gonna have so much chemistry they can’t make eye contact very often cause every time they do it’s electric.

Executive: oooooooooooh. You know we can’t do those kinds of stories anymore, right?

Writer: They’re gonna slowly bond through overcoming obstacles and some verbal banter – lots of conversations turned confessions over tea in low voices with low lighting – very beautifully shed tears. I’ve got this whole dance number planned with water and fire…

Executive: Did you hear what I said?

Writer: The demon’s ex boyfriend is one of our main antagonists. He’s locked up in some cave, lounging around with his abs out, but he can possess people so he’s constantly showing up. He’s got this magical ability called truth eyes he can use to make people see him instead of the person he’s possessing, which is ideal cause this guy is just… incredibly attractive. Byronesque. Moody and broody and stupidly handsome. He’s clearly pissed off at his ex and is jealous as hell of this new demon hunter guy-

Executive: Yeah this all sounds extremely gay. Like I said, we really can’t do that.

Writer: oh don’t worry. They’ve got a girlfriend too.

Executive: they?

Writer: She’s a goddess who is supposed to rule over the demon world but she’s lost her magical powers so they’ve got to help her get those back. She’s quite sassy and flirtatious with our sexy demon right off the bat… and the demon hunter guy has had a crush on her for years.

Executive: So she likes the demon?

Writer: actually it’s pretty clear that she’s crushing hard on this female archer they bring into the mix.

Executive: wait –

Writer: there’s also a handsome mountain god who’s pretty old but in god years still a teenager. And he’s got a thing for this young medic who’s got a thing for the demon hunter.

Executive: that’s too many things. We can’t have that many love triangles. Or squares or… whatever is going on here.

Writer: alright alright, I’ll take out the mountain god and the medic couple. We can make the medic a kid.

Executive: the medical expert? Shouldn’t we make the mountain god the kid?

Writer: Anyways we’ll have them all together going on various adventures and quests. And there will be some exceptionally beautiful and sad love stories that unfold with side characters. Who are also exceptionally beautiful, naturally. Just about everyone is gonna have a tragic backstory. Lots of very pretty tears. Demons dying and disintegrating into burning embers that drift up beautifully towards the stars.

Executive: so it’s a melodrama?

Writer: with a lot of cool martial arts and magic and mysteries.

Executive: we’ll play that up in the trailer.

Writer: the sets are going to blow you away, too. When you aren’t mesmerized by the gorgeous faces of the characters, you’re eyeballing the intricacies of the sets or the beadwork of the costumes.

Executive: are they all gonna die?

Writer: most of them. We’ll have the audience sobbing into their pillows.

Executive: the demon and the goddess end up together?

Writer: they’re magically connected. And bound to stick together for all eternity by a contract the demon signed in blood. Which flies straight into the demon hunter dude’s hands after he spends a few decades searching the corners of the worlds for his soul. It’s very romantic.

Executive: The magical love contract goes to the demon hunter guy? We gotta give the censors some hetero content. Do the demon and the goddess at least kiss?

Writer: well… their faces get close at one point… from a certain angle…

Executive: I dunno. It still seems hella gay.

Writer: All the side stories are straight romances.

Executive: Oh, that’s good. People love love stories.

Writer: Every single one of them is going to rip their hearts out and light them on fire and scatter the ashes over their belief in happy endings.

Executive: I’m sensing a theme.

Writer: It’s gonna be xianxia opera. The gays are gonna ascend to a new dimension. The fujoshi’s are gonna squeal. At one point we have the two demon boyfriends running across the sea together, chests out, before they swear undying devotion to each other at the sacred tree-

Executive: we may have to blur out the man tits.

Writer: What? Why? Topless muscled men are our bread and butter.

Executive: I dunno, some new rule or something.

Writer: Fine, we can put magical smoke around them. The fans can see their abs in the behind the scenes footage.

Executive: we need to add some kind of viral element to it. For the tik tok people.

Writer: Other than the hot cast and all the shipping possibilities?

Executive: Can’t we get the whole cast to do some kind of synchronized dance or something?

Writer: I guess we can put something with the end credits.

Executive: Wait. You distracted me with all the pretty people. What’s the plot again?

Writer: oh yeah! So it’s about a demon and a demon hunter –

Ya’ll.

There is no point reviewing this drama as it is ALL ABOUT THE VIBES.

This drama is 1000 PERCENT STYLE OVER SUBSTANCE. So, if you want an intricately plotted drama, I suggest you watch Joy of Life or something – cause this is not it. This is a drama for aesthetics people, for poetry lovers, for dreamers who can look at a romantic scene and create a 17K word fanfiction about it. This is a show for people who doodle down the sides of their papers, who stare off into space lost in their imaginations, who can’t see a piece of a velvet without wanting to run their hands over it.

I loved it the first time I watched it and have rewatched it at least six or seven times since then. I’ve watched every fan video edit I could find, gushed over gif sets put together by tumblr fans, poured over lengthy think pieces and commentary rambles. It was just one of those shows that got under my skin.

FANGS OF FORTUNE – Overall Rating: 10/10 – Spellbound by the most attractive people on the planet crying over and flirting with each other.

As tempting as it was to jam pack this review full of media – I thought I’d hold back this time just in case you have not yet seen this show. Seeing it for the first time was such a memorable experience… I was gasping, falling in love, ogling the embroidery and beadwork of the costumes, checking out the elaborate hair jewelry, and fighting the urge to screen shot every single second of this visual feast.

So here is just a tiny, tiny sample from the fandom…