Review – Love Alarm

A short, simple, and relatively enjoyable show about romance and insecurity. Though most people know, by context clues and awareness of themselves and others, who likes who in this world – for some reason we still manage to muck up relationships. Cause people are kinda dumb and we live in fear of rejection. Because rejection leads to shame – and shame can be just as powerful an emotion as love, so… you know… it’s a toss up. A gamble, so to speak, to pursue the ones we know like us. Wouldn’t it be nice if it we could avoid the whole stressful gamble with a handy app that loudly, publicly declared our interest? I mean, sure, we could swipe right, but that’s private. If someone likes someone online does it really count before there’s evidence of it to share publicly? It is the question of the ages.

Anyways… this is a show about a silly phone app that lets people know who’s attracted to them. And that’s generally pretty cool cause almost everyone in this show is attractive or at the very least fit and standard “Hollywood Extra” quality. In other words – this isn’t going to be a show that dives into how an app like this could revolutionize society by saying out loud things that people keep quiet. I mean, sure, the hot people are going to get tons of hearts and likes or whatever – but the truth is, people are pretty varied and we like a lot of stuff. And we find a lot of things attractive. Different ages, different races, different body types, different genders, and so on and so forth. This could have been a show that got really deep in the weeds of human behavior, societal expectations and control, suppression and desire. But… nope. It’s a show about a silly app.

No one really has a hard time with this app. I mean, not really. Cause, remember, they’re all pretty attractive and young and finding a romantic partner doesn’t seem like anything the majority of the characters would struggle with.

There’s like… one short nerdy guy who’s not extremely attractive but he’s also not unattractive either… I mean… at one point, he changes his hair and is suddenly pretty cool, so, that’s what we’re dealing with. Short nerdy guy’s got a crush on the hot mean girl at school, who clearly and obviously does not like him, but I guess we’re supposed to feel he’s being bullied or something for that… but honestly… why? Isn’t the whole point of the app to match you with people who also like you? Were there no short, slightly less than standardly attractive women who might fancy this nerdy guy? Who knows… cause the scope of this show is very narrow and the writers try very hard to divert your attention from such obvious plotlines queries by not spending much time on these side stories.

There’s a few gay boys who are embarrassed about being outted by the app (but who also turned it on, so you’re not really sure how you’re supposed to feel about it)… and as far as we know there are no gay girls in the school (though perhaps the gay girls were smart enough not to out themselves with an app if they preferred to stay closeted until college).

Anyhoo… the main characters of this show are attractive and well aware of it. This app only confirms what they already know – that people like them for the way they look. The things they struggle with are internal or unseen stuff. You know, like horrific childhood trauma or difficult family situations. So it’s your cookie-cutter storyline of “which hot guy will the beautiful girl choose?”

Listen, this ain’t a serious drama. It’s a romantic drama. And it’s pretty enjoyable, largely carried on the shoulders of the leading female, Kim So-Hyun. I also liked both of the male leads, which was shocking because I watched Nevertheless right before this and found Song Kang dreadful in that show. To my surprise, he was quite charming in this drama with a wide variety of facial expressions and emotions. Who knew? I had to change my mind about this actor so fast it gave me whiplash. The other guy, Jung Ga-Ram, was also great (more on him in a second). So… the trio of main characters were awesome and that’s a win right there. I mean, it’s not a drama I’m gonna run out and tell people to watch – but it’s only six episodes and pretty cute and… yeah. Thumbs up. I guess. Eh. Whatever.

On a random note… I decided to watch this show because I read somewhere that there was an LGBT storyline. Perhaps this expectation caused some wishful thinking – but I swear, I thought Jung Ga-Ram’s character was going to be gay.

I mean… think about it (if you’ve seen it)… the set up was there! His adorable and questionably over-the-top affection for his best friend (I mean, seriously, the first episode had my gaydar alarm going off like crazy). Encounters with not one, but two gay boys at school – both of which ended with Jung Ga-Ram’s character supporting their same-sex attractions with an odd reserve… a reserve that I read as “I too am familiar with this feeling”… and not because of his crush on the main female, but because he too liked cute boys. I figured that was why he hadn’t turned on his love alarm. Because he was in denial of his sexuality. I also figured that was why he hadn’t approached his crush, but kept her on a pedestal out of arms reach… a known occurrence of some teenage boys in their last chapters of coming out to themselves. Spoiler alert – he ain’t gay. Other than the two random gay boys at school who are on screen for a split second, there’s no rainbow to be found.

Apparently this show is getting a “season 2,” which is awful really cause revisiting a love triangle story line – AGAIN – just means these attractive people still haven’t resolved their shit. Even though the ending of the show suggested they had. Learning there is a season 2 ruins the happy ending of the first season. If that wasn’t the end – then they shouldn’t have made the show 12 eps instead of 6 – though can you imagine? The last few episodes were already starting to drag… I would have DNF’d this show had I seen there were still lots of episodes remaining.

I wish I could assume that Season 2 would show that relationships change – that the people you may have connected with in high school don’t always align to your future. Or dive deeper into the reality that human beings are attracted to multiple people at the same time and that love may be possible with any of them, or even with someone you’re not attracted to at all. Do I imagine the scope of the show will broaden and develop into a more nuanced story? Uh, no. I have zero hope for that. This is a teen romance – and you’re going to find your soul mate in high school, damn it, and that is the ONE and ONLY forever and ever amen, ya dig? It’s just gonna be love-triangle Part 2. And… do you really care which hot guy the hot girl ends up with? I mean, they’re both pretty decent dudes so I didn’t care. Sure, one relationship was developed more than the other – and this caused viewership bias. But do we really care?

I’ll be skipping the sequel.

Overall Rating – 6/10 – Silly Dating Apps and a Standard Love Triangle.

Review – The Witch: Part 1. The Subversion

The Witch starts out with a bang – including eerie opening credits that feature archival (real or fake, who knows?) images of human experiments and cruelty: witch hunts, the Holocaust, and more. As if that didn’t set the tone enough, you’re then greeted with a ridiculously bloody aftermath scene. There is blood splatter galore, but all seems quiet… men with bats catch their breath as something or someone twitches underneath a tarp. You quickly deduce this facility has been experimenting on children and that one of them has escaped.  A cold, cruel-seeming woman shrugs it off, saying the child won’t live long anyways… and a blood soaked girl runs through the night.

The Witch quickly shifts from the dark, bloody, and tension filled opening to a misty morning on a small farm. An older man spots the runaway sleeping and scoops her up, calling for his wife as he runs towards the house.

Eight years later and our runaway is now a teenager. The country town is bright and filled with lovable characters. The movie is now about a young lady who is trying to help her aging parents as they deal with financial and medical problems. Our teen witch seems perfectly ordinary, a nice young woman who jokes around with her best friend and cares for her parents. Yet there is tension in the air, built with small hints that something dreadful is just around the corner… her increasingly crippling headaches… her unexpected participation in a national singing contest… her mysterious abilities. You know something is about to happen… but what? When? What sort of experiments were they doing in that creepy building from the opening scene? What sort of powers does our innocent girl have…?

I’ve watched this three times now and each time I marvel at how well crafted this film is. The balance of action and humor, the dark scenes and the light ones. Like a Cohen Brothers movie, this film is packed with side characters and each one of them is memorable. They’re given small character quirks, signature elements that make them distinctive. And they’re all drawn together at the end for a high stakes showdown between multiple parties with multiple interests. It’s bloody and violent without being shockingly so – and the end is satisfying while also leaving you wanting more.

Rating: 5 stars. Go watch it.

More musings on The Witch including SPOILERS…. so you are warned….

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