LGBTQ

Love in the Air : A Masterclass in Kissing – A Review

/ Lady Divine / 5 Comments

Do you ever wish shows had more kissing?

Like… a lot more?

Like, the serious business of kissing that requires exploration of all the variations and placements on the body?

I wish to be burdened with such struggles

Softcore kissing?

Hardcore kissing?

Open mouth, full tongue, no hesitation kissing?

Just… a lot a lot of kissing?

gif from shippingcontacts

I mean… of course you do, right?

All those kisses aren’t even spoilers, really. All that was just the first episode!

It was so spicy!

Love in the Air hooked me from the very beginning. I was COMPELLED by the flirty self-assurance of ponytail boy’s moves on an adorably dim rich boy and their undeniable chemistry.

And… who is this new ponytail boy?

gifs from prapais

I mean… hellooooooo, Boss.

I’d never seen this actor or his big eyed costar before. But they looked great together and I was eager to see more.

I am addicted to their faces

I’d just let my subscription to IQIYI lapse and was gonna hold out until Season 2 of KinnPorsche but apparently no… the “Son of Vegas” won me over.

Snaps to whomever is selecting their BL dramas on that app, too, cause they sure as hell know how to keep their tender hooks in us. Two billion heterosexual shows that I’ll never watch but I forked out the 10-ish bucks a month for the VIP IQIYI subscription again solely to watch one show about rich gay kids.

My socials were sprinkled with the show for the first ep… and there was quite a buzz about it.

gifs from liyazaki

But it blew up by episode 4. Like a nuclear bomb.

Whatever else had been distracting us was quickly pushed aside as Love in the Air became the main course for the next few months. The BL fandom was on board to witness the insane chemistry of two actors that have no problem convincing us they are head over heels in love and can’t keep their hands to themselves.

But of course, we didn’t just get one couple.

Love in the Air said let’s double that and give our audience two high-intensity couples!

Boss & Noeul playing Payu & Rain – Peat & Fort playing Sky & Prapai

If you enjoy watching people staring at each other lovingly, making out excessively, and then pouncing on each other like horny but respectful wild animals – then this is your show. It earned its NC-17 rating.

Plot?

It has one. I’m pretty sure.

I dunno, I was hella distracted by all the tender touching and audible moaning.

Listen, there’s motorcycle races and architecture classes and a few scenes of the older guys at work… but really it’s just a romance, so the majority of the show is laser focused on watching the couples get together.

It’s all about the banter, the wooing, the seducing, the push and pull, the playful courtships, the insecurities, the eager hands, and the thrilling excitement of physical attraction and first loves.

Rating: 10/10. A Masterclass on Kissing.

I wouldn’t dig too deeply into it if you haven’t seen it yet.

I mean, I’m not sure it would matter… I’ve always been a fan of spoilers, but I will admit it was fun to wait week to week to discover what new sexy shenanigans the boys would get up to in the next episode. If you want to be breathlessly surprised, just go watch it. Love in the Air is on more than one app and streaming sites, so you should have zero problem finding this gem of a bl.

But if you’ve already seen it and just want to reminiscence or enjoy getting spoilery details… feel free to join me on this stupidly unnecessary deep dive into a rather simple show (it is NOT going to be deep, I promise, but it will be media heavy).

Now into the Spoiler Zone… where I just share a crap ton of gifs, pics, memes, and more from the fandom while rambling about the episodes.

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THE SONG OF ACHILLES by Madeline Miller

/ Lady Divine / Leave a comment

“Odysseus inclines his head. “True. But fame is a strange thing. Some men gain glory after they die, while others fade. What is admired in one generation is abhorred in another.” He spread his broad hands. “We cannot say who will survive the holocaust of memory. Who knows?” He smiles. “Perhaps one day even I will be famous. Perhaps more famous than you.” 
― Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

Why can’t the gays be happy? Why? Someone save us from the Greek Tragedies!

This book was beautiful. I looooooooved it. I switched back and forth between the audiobook and the library book, both of which I highly recommend. It’s a lush, sumptuous tale… in which the gods live among us, in which history is represented in its coldness and blood. Lives are short, wars are long, and honor and glory are men’s games. The narrator is Patroclus (shy, stubborn, horny, introverted Patroclus), faithful friend and lover of Achilles (naive, confident, demigod of war) – and their relationship is the focal point of the story – the gods, the wars, the women were all secondary… the landscape in which this love story is painted.

And you know it’s going to be sad. I mean… that 3,000 year old spoiler has been around long enough that we know it. So the dread, the mounting doom that builds… it’s unbearable. It’s delicious. It’s heartbreaking. I sobbed all over the place – even though I knew what would happen! Bury our ashes together! Oh, the sweet agony! Oh, my poor puffy eyes.

Here’s the thing – the spoilers don’t matter. It’s not what’s happening, necessarily, it’s how it’s told. The language, the prose – that’s what this book is about. With that in mind… here’s a few scenes that stuck with me (spoilers):

My favorite parts of this book were the unexpectedly adorable moments between our lovers… like when teenage Achilles comes home one night and announces he’s just found out his mother, an all-seeing goddess, can’t actually see into the cave they’re staying at… and the two boys just stare at each other as all that news implies sinks in… then pounce like hungry lions. Or when young Achi is in disguise as a woman and Patty shows up and he leaps into his arms saying, “Oh, my husband has come!” Or when they save a random prisoner of war, a woman, and take her into their tent for protection – but she assumes she’s about to be raped and no matter how much they try to calm her down and assure her, it’s a nightmare cause they don’t speak the same language, so Patty boy just grabs Achi and puts a big smooch on him and message received loud and clear. Odysseus is also hysterical and rude and conniving and I enjoyed all of his scenes – his clever turn of phrase, his keen understanding and manipulation of situations.

And you have to realize, these situations are all told with this very thick narrative voice – this metaphor and simile heavy language that really sings to you while you read it – as if the breaths you’ll inhale and exhale while you speak the lines are perfectly timed to fit this hypnotic rhythm… very much like a poem… or an old play… it’s beautifully done. Madeline Miller obviously spent a long time tailoring these sentences to create this tale. She’s a drama and classic major… so… you know… she knows her stuff.

I can’t wait to read Circe – her latest book. Though I’ll probably have to take a little break and read something fluffy or light first, to clear the palette. Maybe some YA fantasy or something.

RATING: FIVE STARS

Title: The Song of Achilles
Author: Madeline Miller
Originally published: 2011
Genres: Historical Fiction, Fantasy, Mythology, War story

KinnPorsche : The Horniest Show on Earth – A Review

/ Lady Divine / 30 Comments

***Please Note: This review is extremely media heavy (lots of gifs & images) so give your device a minute to load. P.S. All images can be enlarged if you click on them.

KinnPorsche is a Thai BL, aka a “boys love” series, created specifically with the fandom of BL in mind.

It’s a story about a mafia boss recruiting a new bodyguard and their subsequent romance as they navigate the criminal underworld, attempt to unravel the complicated web of their families, and find excuses to take each others clothes off.

The one scene we all remember from the original trailer

And like millions of others around the globe, I am currently obsessed with it.

Listen, I don’t know how to phrase this accurately – but this show gave me everything I wanted. As a fan of dramas. As a gay lady. As a content creator and consumer. KinnPorsche said, “Here, have Everything.” Including things I didn’t even know I wanted (which I will explain later).

Is it for you? It might be.

This fanmade music video is better than any trailer for the show. Check it out to see if you want to check it out.

I have loved a lot of dumb shows in my lifetime, but rarely has a series actually loved the audience back as much as this show.

The fandom was feral while this was airing. The euphoric high of waiting week to week, sharing gifs, theorizing, gushing and groaning and getting goosebumps together going over the last episode as anticipation grew to a frantic frenzy for the next. Ya’ll. Seriously. Summer of 2022 was sizzling.

If you have not noticed the fandom freakout over this series – and also somehow managed to avoid major spoilers or couple moments or Youtube & TikTok videos, Tumblr posts, Twitter threads, and so on… then wow. Congratulations! You may yet enjoy a pure viewing experience of this masterpiece.

If you have noticed it all and thought… what in the world is all this horny mess and should I check this out? Then yes, you should also watch it and wait with impatience for all of the scenes you have already seen to unfold before your eyes.

(images from Tumblr @moerusai – one of the supreme leaders of the Kinnporsche empire / fandom)

If you are coming from watching Korean Dramas or perhaps never watched an Asian drama at all – there are a few things you should know.

Without spoilers – please keep these things in mind:

  • The plot is a minor inconvenience. By that I mean do not go into this show expecting a deep dive into machinations of the Thai mafia, serious character studies, profound explorations of morals or psychology or anything else that usually sneaks its way into mafia-centric media. Don’t get me wrong, there is mafia-ish stuff happening. But don’t dig too deep into it. If you aren’t coming into this show exclusively to have fun watching gorgeous men get together while wearing suits and wielding guns, then check your tickets cause you may have purchased them in error.
  • The Action Sequences remind me of action TV from America the 1980-1990s. Meaning, they are not the highly cut, crazy angle, so-fast-you-nearly-miss-it, typical American style action-sequencing of today’s shows. They’re more on level and in real time. Still impressive to the modern eye but don’t expect John Wick, ya dig? Oh, and occasionally there are “tango-action” sequences… where the characters literally roll onto each other or into each others arms or whatever… and yeah, it’s ridiculous but it’s also sexy and fun and reminds you this isn’t The Godfather, this is a gay romance.
  • The Genre Shifts Constantly but should not be too jarring to anyone familiar with Asian dramas, which frequently jump from comedy to melodrama to romance to action and back all in one episode. There will be hot sensual scenes followed by slapstick, cheeky comedy… and mafia shootouts followed by bodyguards sitting around gossiping… serious plot moments followed by drunken dancing at a bar. And that’s just the nature of the beast with this show.
  • Most importantly, you should know IT’S SUPER GAY and in no way ashamed of it or apologetic about it or even that concerned with your opinions of the subject. This is not a show about coming out, gay self acceptance, or homophobia. This show takes place in a strange alternate dimension where very few women have speaking roles and nearly every man is gay or bisexual. This is peak BL, people.

KinnPorsche has become a global phenomenon and I would recommend it to everyone just so you aren’t being left out. What do you have to lose? The two male leads are exceptionally attractive, have unbelievable chemistry together, and there are plenty of enjoyable “mafia” moments inbetween all kinds of goofy shenanigans and kissing. KinnPorsche is both PG and NC-17 and you will have fun bouncing between the two.

(images above from Tumblr @kinnporsche)

So go and download IQIYI (or find some alt links – keep reading this post *wink *wink) and watch the show if you haven’t.

KinnPorsche (Thai BL) – Overall Rating: 10/10. The Horniest Show on Earth, otherwise known as Whump and Rump in the Gay Mafia.

In the sections below, I will be rambling on these topics:

  • THE LORE & BACKSTORY (no spoilers – the backstory to this show is just as wild as the show itself – includes all trailers and promos)
  • THE GAY MAFIA ROMANCE SHOW TAKES OVER THE WORLD (lots of spoilers)
  • THE CHARACTERS (no deep dives here, folks, just a quick hello to our major players)
  • THE COUPLES: KINN / PORSCHE (spoiler city)
  • THE COUPLES: VEGAS / PETE (spoiler city)
  • THE WORLD TOUR (in which I lose my mind, collectively, with the fandom)

Want to know more?

A FANDOM LOVE STORY: Spoilers, Gossip, Trailers, Pics, Gifs, and More below…

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BL Dramas – Which Country Does BL Best?

/ Lady Divine / 6 Comments

BL, or Boys Love, is nothing new to the scene. It’s been around for quite a while, largely in print or anime format. It’s also been extremely diverse from the get-go with many different genres and settings offering us male/male relationships from super sweet romance romances to intensely sexual content. I still remember stumbling across the anime Ai no Kusabi (1992) – which was burned onto a CDR and stuffed in as some free bonus content from my order of Wolf’s Rain (2003) I’d received off eBay.

Ya’ll. I was not prepared for Ai no Kusabi.

I’d stumbled across the Finder manga in 2002 and thought I’d found the peak pervy storyline of the sexy mafia boss and his feisty reporter twink… but no. Ai no Kusabi created an entire world around sex pets, like the Claiming of Sleeping Beauty trilogy and Exit to Eden books by Anne Rice, this was a society built upon BDSM and sexual servitude.

So, like many others, I discovered BL through Japanese manga and anime. Some of them creeped me out with their childlike boy characters (No Money, Boku no Pico), while others made the age-gap work for them (Junjou Romantica). And of course, there were plenty of manga and anime series with heavily implied gay storylines and artwork, giving us “manservice” if you will, where they would show you they were gay but wouldn’t tell you they were gay. One of my all time favorite series X/1999 is one such storyline. I mean… that entire story is just queer escapism. The manga, the anime, even the weird movie… it’s good stuff. Super gay. And yet… not.

The 21st Century has already seen many cultural shifts and changes, one of the most positive of those has been the push for global acceptance of LGBTQ+ people. We have seen gay marriage, gay rights, and gay issues become major movements around the world. My ardent wish is that by the mid-century, LGBTQ+ people will have equal rights and protections under the law everywhere.

In the past few years I have watched an explosion of BL live action dramas coming out of Asia, the popularity of this genre increasing almost exponentially whereas now it seems a global phenomenon. This is largely due to the fact that gay content has always been enjoyed outside the gay community. Love is universal, after all, and whether it’s two boys, two girls, a boy and a girl, or a pairing of other gender or sexual identities, it all reads the same – people falling in love.

Since 2020, BL is increasingly common in the live action drama market. So… which country does it best?

I’m not sure there is a real answer to that, as everything boils down to preference. Whether you prefer Thai, Taiwanese, Korean, Filipino, Japanese, and Chinese dramas will, undoubtedly, heavily influence your rankings. I certainly have my preferences, as I am sure you have yours (if you have watched more than one BL, that is). My preferences tend to be related to the storylines and dynamics more than the country, though. So in the genre of BL, I tend to stray from my preference for Korean Dramas, though there are a few from Korea that I enjoyed.

Anyways, without further adieu – here are my favorite BL drama series that I’ve seen from various countries….

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Review – Color Rush

/ Lady Divine / 2 Comments

In the world of this drama, some people are born color blind. It is inexplicable color blindness, having nothing to do with traditional color blindness that involves genetics and cells in the eye’s retina. These unique people are called Monos. They see only in shades of gray.

Monos can be triggered into seeing color, however, if they find a person known as a Probe. Also incredibly rare, these individuals can activate (for lack of a better word) the eyes of Monos. The Monos then experience a color rush – as their eyes change to see color. It’s an overwhelming experience, causing fainting and blackouts. The Monos only experience color in the presence of their paired Probe.

Needless to say, this change in world view is very disorienting and compelling to the Monos. The experience causes obsessive tendencies and can even result in violence. The Monos desire to be always in the presence of the Probe leads many to stalking, kidnapping, and assault. There have even been cases of Monos eating their Probe partners.

So when our cute young Mono unexpectedly discovers his cute young Probe, all he wants to do is run away before the madness takes him. And all his Probe wants to do is flirt and invade his personal space, red flags of warning be damned. He strings along his color-rushed Mono, dolling out small doses of overwhelming color in carefully crafted (and surprisingly thoughtful) experiences. He drapes himself around this fainting, confused cutie and drags him into closets to see rainbows. Even when it’s obvious the experience is having an unsettling effect on the Mono, our slinkly Probe keeps pushing him along. Cause if you can see the world in color… why would you ever go back? Isn’t it worth the gamble of madness? Isn’t it worth turning your life upside down for? Isn’t it… the perfect metaphor for discovering you’re gay?

To say the premise of this series about all the colors of the rainbow is dark is the understatement of the year. It’s deliciously dark. My only complaint about this show is that it didn’t lean in harder to its obvious tonal values. It wanted to be both dark while also cuter than a basket of kittens… which is impossible to pull off under this plot line. I mean, we are told the color rush experience triggers cannibalism in the first episode. You can’t toss out information like that and not have it color, so to speak, the budding relationship.

Honestly, the entire show was just middle of the road for me – the actors, the locations, the cinematography, the side story (which was non existent but could have been awesome), and the romance. Not bad but not good either. Just a solid “eh.” BUT – the plotline elevated this show into a higher status by being so intriguing that every episode felt exciting. The “what if…?” and the “oh god, is he…?” and the “OH MY GOD, IS THAT-?” that you’ll be asking yourself throughout the run time were massively engaging. Ultimately a bit of a let down, too, but enough to propel you forward at an enjoyable speed through this shows short run time.

I’ve got more to say – but it skirts into spoilers, so let’s just drop a quick rating before we get into more. Though it really only deserved a 6 or 7, I’m gonna drop it in the top tier cause I doubt I’ll ever stop thinking about the BL story that tempted me with flesh eating insanity.

Overall Rating: 8/10 – You’ll See Colors and Cannibals Everywhere.

Spoiler time…

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Review – Itaewon Class

/ Lady Divine / 2 Comments

Itaewon Class. What a strange love story to Capitalism, am I right?

Here is how I imagine this drama was pitched between the writer and the studio executive.

Executive: “So what have you got there? You said it’s a revenge story set in the food industry?”

Writer: “Oh yeah. It’s gonna be great. We’ve got this stubborn, solitary guy who doesn’t need anyone’s approval, he’s just gonna go his own way and do what’s right. Stick to his principles. Never budge an inch.”

Executive: “Like a John Wayne type?”

Writer: “Teenage John Wayne.”

Executive: “But better looking than John Wayne.”

Writer: “Much better looking.”

Executive: “Who does he want revenge against?”

Writer: “A CEO of a worldwide food company. This guy is just super rich and powerful, so it’s gonna be hard to get revenge, ya know?”

Executive: “He’s gonna get his revenge by becoming rich too, right?”

Writer: “Of course. That’s how justice works.”

Executive: “It’s how product placement advertising works too. Sounds like a win!”

Social taboos unveiled in hit South Korean drama Itaewon Class ...

Itaewon Class had all the elements of a quality fairy tale K-drama: A strong archetypal hero with impeccable values and a heart of gold who rises over adversity, meets his goals, finds loyal friends and allies, and of course discovers true love. There was a nice sized cast of diverse characters with unique plot lines and motivations. I was interested in the fates of everyone I’d been introduced to, good and bad. It was far better than the majority of K-dramas I have seen in the past year and not bothered to review.

And yet it had serious problems. The last few episodes really fell off the gas pedal and the plotline slowed down considerably. Ironically, the most dragging episode was the finale – which had a preposterous amount of exciting things happening and somehow managed to muffle all the energy of the climax. And worst of all, in my opinion, there was the problematic underlining theme of the entire show. It’s what I like to call the Capitalist Dream, the lie we all tell ourselves: If you just work really, really hard then you can achieve anything. Entry into the golden palaces of the 1% is possible for anyone willing to work overtime. This idea has tucked the poor into bed since the dawn of time, soothing their anxieties about class inequality with a little fairy tale about how some people sneak into the castle… and get the prince to fall in love with them… and that could be you.

So, yeah, there were issues. But I still highly recommend this drama. It’s 16 episodes, which is a nice length for a series. They managed to fill each episode with enough plot that we didn’t have to over indulge in excessive flashbacks, pointless walking or staring scenes, or other fillers. It was lighthearted and funny at times without being silly or cartoonish. I especially enjoyed the spunky, quasi-sociopathic lead female. And who doesn’t love a good revenge story?

Itaewon Class – Overall Rating: 8.5/10. Feel-Good Capitalist Propaganda.

More – about characters and themes below. SPOILERS GALORE so watch the show first, my dear readers.

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Review – Where Your Eyes Linger

/ Lady Divine / 1 Comment

Where Your Eyes Linger is the first openly gay romance where the two lead characters fall in love. Can we call this a drama? It’s really not even as long as a traditional film, let alone in the league of sprawling K-dramas. It was released online, so technically it’s a web series, but whatever. We’ll take the 8 episodes (only 10 minutes long each) and be happy we got it – because when they start handing out appetizers surely it means they’ll be serving up a main course of gay loving soon!

The plot in a nutshell is basically this. There’s a rich boy who’s dad is some mega CEO tycoon but also clearly mafia. Rich boy has a best friend, who is also his guardian and protector, and adopted (I guess, we didn’t really get much of a backstory here, though honestly it would be cool to know – this mini short could easily turn into a full blown drama in the hands of gifted writers) boy who relies on the charity of the mafia family for survival. The boys live together and go to school together and work out together and fall in love together and that’s about it. Two very handsome young men pining over each other with increasing intensity. There isn’t much to the story beyond this, so I won’t really spoil the ending except to say neither of them die. That’s saying a lot, as the Kill Your Gays trope has been around for a long time and it’s often easier to have one character sobbing on a grave than deal with the backlash of angry homophobs upset that gay people might be happy.

The two leads have believable chemistry, which was a plus. The side characters are minor, to say the least, but we really weren’t given time for anything else. The whole show feels a lot like a play, set on a few key locations, generally no more than two or three people in the room at any time. It had just enough conflict to make it satisfying, just enough dialogue to set up the structure of the story, and heaping spoonfulls of very PG but also very joyously-overt gay flirting and repressed longing.

It was a short but sweet addition to Pride Month. Is it perfect? Far from it. Did it end up seeming more like porn for girls? Definitely, but I’m not in the mood to do a deep dive essay on the problematic nature of female objectification of gay men through boys love media right now. Was it a bit of a rip off of Tight Rope and about a dozen other Yakuza themed BL manga? Okay, yes, but let’s not split hairs in the genre. Did I kinda love this very short gay love story? Yeah… I kinda adored it. I was texting my best friend during the entire screening.  “Oh my god, the waitress lady just asked which of them is the top. Straight people are so freakin’ rude” and “Oh my god, they’re wrestling with enthusiasm, this is definitely code for sex” and “Oh my god, he’s washing his freaking hair. This is the most orgasmic sudsy nonsense I’ve ever seen, it’s gotta be code for a blowjob” and “Oh my god, now he’s begging him to snuggle in the bed, cause of course they share a bed cause how positively heterosexual of them, hahahahahaha” and “Oh my god, why is forbidden love so ridiculously addictive?” and “Oh my god, I think we might actually get a kiss in this show. Like, mouth to mouth!” and “OH MY GOD!!!!”

Anyways, it was cute and there’s no reason everyone can’t give up 80 minutes of their day to watch it.

Overall Rating: 8/10. A Rainbow Sprinkle Romance.

Now I get to go update my Gay K-Drama List!

MORE HAPPY THAN NOT by Adam Silvera

/ Lady Divine / Leave a comment

More Happy Than Not is the book that tried to kill me.

It was exceptional – incredible! And it just walks you right off the edge and leaves you a devastated puddle at the end. 100% worth it, though.

It’s the story of a young guy growing up in the Bronx, in poverty, all the games he and his friends play, their favorite comic shop, their quest for tail and a free beer and even a flicker of hope in their lives. I don’t even know how to talk about this book… it’s so good! It’s completely unexpected and emotionally gut wrenching and romantic and raw and remarkable for a first novel (well done Adam Silvera). It’s written with the authenticity of someone who grew up the same way… so I can’t help but suspect there are many mirrors of Adam’s own story in the text.

Anyways, nothing you think is going to happens. I think anyone who reads a lot or even watches a lot of television gets used to following certain plotlines – and this book destroyed them all. Repeatedly. Gah. I cried. And then I kind of gaped in horror as the narration drew to a close because… gah. For the brave readers, I highly recommend jumping off this cliff.

RATING: FOUR STARS

Title: More Happy Than Not
Author: Adam Silvera
Originally published: June 2, 2015
Genre: Fiction

I’LL GIVE YOU THE SUN by Jandy Nelson

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“I’ll Give You The Sun” is a story about fraternal twins, both resoundingly artistic with jealousies and rages that compete with mythological gods. This story is told in alternating voice, between the siblings, and in alternating times… before and after. Before what and after what are the mystery of the novel – and there are several befores and several afters hidden in the pages. In the end, it’s a heartbreakingly beautiful story about family, unconditional love and conditional love, first loves and deep seeded regrets. The plot in itself is outstanding – a very richly layered story with fully realized characters, both young and old. I feel in love with everyone in this story, and saw a little bit of myself reflected in each of them.

But the story is not what makes this book great – it would have been pretty good if anyone wrote this plot, probably – but what makes this book shine is revealed in the cover: huge implications in small words, “I’ll give you the sun” indeed – the title surrounded by a radial explosion of colors. That’s what this book is – words crafted so unusually, so cleverly, so astoundingly that they paint in your head. It’s overwhelming at first, all that language, all those images, but it tames down a bit after a while. Or maybe I just grew accustomed to it after a while, I’m not sure. I’ll have to re-read it for closer inspection. And I’m sure I will re-read it.

Though I loved all the love stories in this book (there is more than one), the one that hit me hardest was Noah’s. Torment, fascination, recognition… and always that burning question “Are they?” I cried on and off repeatedly while reading it – sometimes with joy, too. The only problem I had with the book was the character of Zephyr… and the bag of mixed messages there, but it’s only a side plot so I’ll happily put it aside for now and just bask in the contentment of finishing an excellent book. Anyways, it was a remarkable novel and I highly recommend it.

RATING: FIVE STARS

Title: I’ll Give You The Sun
Author: Jandy Nelson
Originally published: September 16, 2014
Genre: Young adult fiction

A LITTLE LIFE by Hanya Yanagihara

/ Lady Divine / 3 Comments

Image result for a little life by"

The majority of this review will be in the spoiler section – down below – because I need to talk about this book, ramble and rave and rant.

Without spoilers – let me say this book is excellent. It’s thick, but it manages to flow smoothly from one section to the next.

There is a hook that will dig pretty deep into your subconscious, the mysterious past of one of the main characters, that will gently pull you, then drag you, then rip you out of the water as you struggle to regain your sense of reality. This mystery – and my burning need to KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, even as I knew that it would be awful and make me cry and I might regret finding out – is what truly made this book stand out from the crowd.

Like all the characters in the book, who also don’t know the secret the one guy keeps buried, but also got hints, that dared to imagine yet couldn’t quite ask outright, you are deeply, deeply compelled to reveal this mystery – even as you subconsciously shield yourself from it. There must be some psychology about this reflex – the need to know mixed with the instinct to remain ignorant. The reason we can’t help but look at car crashes, the ways it plays with our minds, the ways tragedy changes our view of things. It’s such a push and pull.

This book is a car crash you can not look away from.

And like a car crash, you will be forced to reflect on your life as you witness the decimation of others. Even though you most likely don’t know them – even though it doesn’t touch you directly – it is a shared fragility, our humanity. And how we think depends on where we are in the equation. Who are you in the scenario – The one driving the crashed car? The one driving by the scene? The one at fault in the accident? The one who walked away? The one would couldn’t? The one brought in to clean up the mess? The one who tries to get everyone around it moving again? The one who will report it? The one to examine the corpses? Inform the families? Cry at the funeral? The one who will remember that once they knew that person and now they are gone and be shaken by it? The one who will turn over to find an empty bed because of it? The one who will defend the guilty party in court? The one who will judge them? The one who will see only a singular mistake that cost so much or the one who will see only a slaughter that deserves retribution? And even as this web of interconnections spreads out and unites us all – it also thins out and we know the scene will be cleared, the departed put to rest, the fates of those affected will be altered but continue on, to new fates. And we will never forget. Or often forget. Or forget immediately. And all of those responses are correct.

This book is not, mind you, about a car crash. I mean it is. But it’s not.

This is a book about people. And how we are nothing to almost everyone, and yet how we are everything to ourselves and the few people whose lives intimately touch ours. It’s about how we get to know people and how we are never known. It’s sad and beautiful, because we are all such complicated messes. Our insecurities are deep and profound and stick with us throughout life, like a deep layer of skin we can never shed. It doesn’t matter how our personal insecurities compare to others – whether they are warranted, earned, deserved, or simply there. They are huge and they dictate our lives and are the shadow our bright suns fall into and escape from each day.

If you haven’t read it – well, you may not want to. Look at the cover. If that cover appeals to you – then you should read it. If you look at that face and think, “My God, what is this the cover image?” then perhaps it’s not. The book cover is perfect – a handsome face contorted in pleasure or in pain? Is that beautiful? Is that ugly? We always smile for pictures – or at least try to look attractively neutral. We are composed and presented – but we really can’t see what others see – what we look like when we’re caught in a moment. We don’t see ourselves when we’re lost in thought or crying or laughing or staring at a computer screen. So many things shape who we are. Our bodies. Our genetics. Our upbringing. Our experiences. We are inside and out, always.

Rating: 5 Stars.

So – let’s just… ditch the metaphors and get right into the mess.

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