Review – Will It Snow for Christmas?

Will It Snow for Christmas is a romantic drama about two star-crossed lovers who must first climb Mount Everest, then maybe Mount Olympus, fight off a horde of zombies, learn to breathe underwater, travel through time and cure cancer before ever getting together.  At least, that’s what it feels like.  Saying they had to overcome obstacles is too tame a word.  Ah, but clearly they’re meant to be together, these two unfortunate souls, but first we have to get through the drama.

And what a drama!  This will probably forever remain in my top 10 – because it’s a great story, has an awesome cast and I find myself wanting to rewatch it all the time.

Overall Rating:  10/10

The premise of this show is important – so gather round, ye children, and listen closely as I tell you a story about a very unlucky set of children.

SPOILERS FOLLOW!

On one side of the page we have our young hero, an average teenage boy who – wait, scratch that!

He’s actually a super genius who’s ranked 7^th in the nation. Oh, and he’s really good looking and all the girls love him. But before we throw a parade in his honor and start writing him love letters, let’s not forget one important factor, a crack in his veneer… his mother.

Our boy genius has obviously made some severe mistakes in his past lives, because this round he’s stuck with one of the worst mothers in the universe. She’s embarrassing, her morals are questionable, she has two illegitimate sons from two different fathers, and she’s not above making a scene and ruining herself whenever she feels like it.

Throwing lighter fluid on someone’s family portrait? No problem. Biting her own son so hard she broke the skin – because he was trying to defend her from a drunken molester? Sure. Shamelessly pursuing a married man who’s not long for this world and destroying both their families in the process? Bring it.

This woman is a natural disaster. Madame Cha, Category Five Hurricane. These things alone would make her a horrible mother, but what seals the deal is the simple truth that you can’t help but love her. She’s a desperate, conniving, crazy woman. And you love her… despite it all. Maybe even because of it all.  This actress will blow you away.  She OWNS this role.

Ever see the movie Stella Dallas with Barbara Stanwyck?  1937?  What about the remake, Stella?  Bette Middler?  1990?  Madame Cha is Stella.  Vulgar, determined, brash.  She knows she’s an embarrassment to her kids – but what can she do?  This is her life.  All she can do is hope for something better for her boys.

To counterbalance this brainy youth with his mother-shaped shackle we have the town misfit. She’s the black sheep of her very proper family, with an older brother who outshines her in every possible way. I fell in love with this character immediately. The young actress was utterly compelling as the outspoken, impulse driven odd ball. A lot happens in the first episode, from her wetting her own pants at school to shamelessly flirting with the new genius kid in order to win his heart so that she can later break it.

By the end of the episode all her plans have backfired, as usual, and she finds herself falling for boy genius – and in a bold and spur of the moment fit of rage and retribution she decides to defend his honor. By defacing a man’s car. The guy who’d molested crazy mother. The same situation that lead to a bite sized scar on our heroes arm. Our spitfire girl is so worked up over this injustice she just explodes – writing obscenities all over the guy’s black sedan in white house paint! Then she throws cow shit and eggs at him! And keeps daring the guy to kill her! She’s incredible.

Seriously, how can our boy genius resist such an obviously unstable and yet loveable girl? She’s strikingly similar to his mother! And he’s working off bad karma, remember? So of course he’s drawn to the wildcat girl. She pushed him off a bridge and threatened to have him arrested – then began to bafflingly pursue him with elaborate shows of affection. Just like the insanity at his home. Oh, cruel fate.

It’s so awesome.  Check these kids out!

God, I love this little wildcat!

And now we must speak of proverbial straws and injured camels. It all comes down to a pendant. As the hooligan girl is getting beat up by the molester, our hero finally breaks. He attacks the pervert and just about kills the guy, beating him to a bloody pulp on the bridge. During this very dramatic and yet believable action sequence, our hero loses the pendant he wears around his neck. It gets ripped off him and falls into the river. No big deal, right?

Wrong. Turns out it’s a very big deal. The pendant is the only thing our hero has of his mysterious fathers. And we have to imagine what must have been going through this boy’s head all these years. Sure, his father abandoned him and left him with his crazy mom. But could he be sure? We’re talking about the supreme crazypants of mothers here, so it’s possible she’s been lying. That his father has been trying to find them. That hero boy will someday impress his papa with his prodigy grades and stellar college exams scores. He must have secretly plotted so many escape plans over the years and you know damned well he probably needed these fantasies to keep sane. So it wasn’t just a symbol of his father that he’d lost with the pendant, it was all the dreams he’d attached to this mythical father figure too. When hero boy loses his pendant, he loses his shit. Literally melts down in the police station, howling like a suffering animal. It will break your heart.

It breaks the heart of our misfit girl, who feels responsible for his agony. After all, he lost his pendant defending her honor… because she’d been out defending his honor. Oh, these kooky kids.

Misfit girl decides to make it her mission in life to retrieve the lost pendant from the river after hero boy attempts to find it but fails. So she attempts to find it… and fails just as miserably. It’s her older brother who takes over the submerged pendant mission. He’s an incredible swimmer after all. Shit, he’s good at everything, remember? He’s the golden child. And he’d do anything for his little sis. Anything at all.

Can you sense impending doom? What about if I say impending doom again? Now?

Cause this pendant will fuck up all their lives. Other than hero’s mom, nothing else can wreck such havoc in so little time. Golden boy disappears under the waters and never returns. Not alive, anyways. The poor soul drowns helping his sister. Which leads his sister into a tormented spiral of shame and guilt – and our misfit queen makes the ultimate impulsive decision to run away. And she never comes back… leaving behind her mourning parents and our boy hero with his broken heart.

THAT is the premise of the show. And basically all this happens in the first two episodes. I don’t know about you, but that was some of the tastiest plot bait I’ve ever been lured with.

Take a deep breath.  Count backwards… relax… three… two…

Suddenly we’re thrown into the future – maybe ten or so years later – and our hero and misfit have both grown up, and grown up so beautifully, and you’re just dying to see them get together again. How will it happen? Will they recognize each other? Ack! My anxious heart demands answers!

What a kickass set up for romance and intrigue, eh?

Now I shall tantalize you with some of the most memorable moments…

SHOES.

Crazypants mom is attempting to fix the heel of her red high heels. Misfit girls comes along and offers to help her out – but accidentally breaks the heel off all together. Crazypants mom forces the girl to switch shoes with her… cause that’s what crazy people do. Hero boys confronts mom and demands misfit’s shoes back. Nope, not budging. Exasperated, he gives his mother his own shoes. Now barefoot he returns misfit girl her shoes… and suddenly a weird shoe-swapping scene is achingly romantic. Just so you know… he’ll bring her shoes again someday. And it’s also achingly romantic.

Speaking of romance… it’s not just romantic.  It’s…

BONE MARROW DEEP LOVE.

Grown hero will melt your screen. Not only is he an incredibly attractive man but he is an exceptional actor. The smallest movement of his mouth, a tick of the eyebrows, a quick blink – and every emotion churning inside the character is revealed. And sweet mother of Zeus, our hero is mad in love. It’s instant. The second he accidentally runs into misfit girl, now fully grown and lovely too, it’s obvious he’s a sunk ship. The man is drowning in desire for her. It’s breathtakingly, spellbindingly romantic. And abundantly clear. Everyone knows he’s desperate for our female lead. Her boyfriend knows it. Her boyfriend’s girlfriend knows it. Everyone. Their chemistry glows in the dark.

PHONE SINGING.

If anyone was holding back their love of the crazy mom, I think you probably gave in when she had her son serenade her on the phone. She was drunk off her ass after having a particular bad day and he was in no mood to deal with her… but he stayed on the line and even gave in to her request for a song. As if that isn’t enough to melt even the coldest hearts, a few scenes later we have the very same set up – except this time our hero has had a horrible day and let’s his mother cheer him up with a sweet ballad. The bond between mother and son is palpable.

On another note, I loved how he used his mother to determine the eligibility of his girlfriends.  They start to like him and he brings them home… if they can survive mom, they’re keepers.  This is a testament to how wretched his mama is… cause he’s a catch: a genius, super attractive, wealthy and successful.  But mom makes the girls go running!

My very favorite scene – and when this show turned me into a rabid fangirl – was the infamous…

GRAND ROMANTIC GESTURE. Also known as THE GRAND APARTMENT MAKEOVER.

Our grown hero finds his wildcat, naturally.  But what’s she been up to all this time?  I mean, the girl ran away at the tender age of sixteen.  By this time, we know she works at a coffee shop.  We know she’s going to oriental medicine school.  And we know she’s engaged, sorta, to a deeply lost man who doesn’t love her (who I may talk about later, if the mood strikes, but at the moment I don’t mind abandoning him on the side of the road).  Anyways, our wildcat seems to be doing pretty well.  Or so we all assume until hero goes to meet her at work – discovers she lives in a small room above the coffee shop… and then takes a peek at her living conditions.

It’s bad.

It’s really bad.

Hero is shocked.  He’s horrified.  He can’t stop thinking about it.  The man has this huge million dollar project he’s shooting for – and the presentation is tomorrow.  But suddenly he can’t do anything except obsess over wildcat’s shitty abode.

As if we didn’t already love our hero, he proves that he’s the BEST BOYFRIEND EVER and decides to fix her apartment.  And not just fix it… he’s going to go architecture-ninja on its ass.

He literally rips it to pieces.  Tears down walls.  Knocks out a hole in the concrete for a window.  Makes furniture from scratch.  All with his bare hands and tool belt.

Hero is a fairy godmother.  Hero is a god amongst mortals.  I mean, look what he does with the place!  He even decorates it…

Wildcat is stunned and speechless.  We’re stunned and speechless.

And hero is done.  He’s been up all night performing miracles and even with their careers on the line, his coworkers let him sleep.

It may be the most romantic gesture I have witnessed on screen.  And he didn’t even stick around to get a thank you or enjoy her shock and awe.  Because he had to do it.  For himself as much as for her.  He can’t have his honey living in a hole!  That’s his woman, damn it.

I get chills just remembering this sequence of events.  Needless to say, psuedo-fiance has lost all possible chances with wildcat.  No man can measure up to the miracle makeover.  There’s more bumps and curves on the road ahead for our lovers, but they will get together.  We know it.  And when they do…

PHONE FLIRTING.

When our couple finally unites, a little over halfway through the show, we find ourselves once again seeing a deep bond between two people on the phone. This time it’s our wildcat who really shines. She’s a giddy, giddy girl in love. I mean… look at her face!  Later her calls her and serenades her… playing the guitar with his perfectly shaped fingers.

She’s in heaven.  I’m in heaven.  It’s so gloriously corny and wonderful that I never get tired of it.

BUILDING THE FUTURE.

Our lovebirds aren’t finished making our toes curl with delight. Oh no. Mr. Architect has one more grand romantic gesture in store for his wildcat ladylove. He’s building a house this time. Big enough for their futures.

Awwwwww!

AWWWW!

Obviously, something is about to go horribly wrong. There’s still two more DVDs and they’re engaged and happy? What? Ah, but of course everything is going explode.

The most memorable, insane plot twist happens in the middle of this show.  Drumroll please…. Ready?

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!?

Our lover’s parents run off together! GASP! This almost doesn’t occur… crazypants mom backs down from her runaway scheme but then her nutter son talks her back into it! Cause Self-Sacrifice is his middle name. He wants her to be happy. Even if it means she’s running away with his sweetie’s father and screwing everyone left behind.

If you ask me, it’s a total douche move on wildcat’s dad side. He had eight years to get back together with crazypants, but nooooo…. Didn’t have the balls to do it until he’s diagnosed with terminal cancer. What a jerk.  Suddenly he’s perfectly fine with tearing up his life, his new honey’s life and their children be damned.  True to his nature, he pussies out of the whole thing and the fucker kicks the bucket before he can get home to set things right.

But that’s not even the worst part. Check this out…

When the mother of wildcat discovers her husband has left her for crazypants – she has a nervous breakdown. Bitch sets the house on fire and tries to kill herself!

Her little brain just goes caput.  Suddenly she thinks our hero is her dead son.   You remember, the one who drowned? The golden child?

AND OUR HERO GOES ALONG WITH IT!

He takes two deep breaths and abandons his life all together, deciding to become this tragic delusional woman’s dead son. Which puts a damper on the wedding plans, ya know, cause now hero and wildcat are siblings. At least, they’re pretending to be. Holy Misguided Hell! Wildcat is not pleased by this turn of events but she begrudgingly accepts it. Hero, on the other hand, seems oddly at peace with assuming the role of a dead guy. His new fake mother is the complete opposite of his real mother. Finally he’s doted on and loved and appreciated in a stable home environment by a classy broad. I mean, the guy had lost everything. He’s lost his job. He’d lost his real mother. I guess everything couldn’t have happened at a more opportune time. Well, except for that pesky problem of losing his one true love to an assumed identity. Self-inflicted assumed identity.

I know a lot of people want to blame the crazypants mom. How dare she put her happiness above other people, right? How dare she not be the self-sacrificing fool her son is?! See, it just doesn’t work. You can hate her a little bit for screwing things up, but she’s not the only one to blame. Heck, she was just a woman in love. A crazy woman, lest we forget. But it was her son who pushed out the door. So maybe we should blame him. Is our hero as nuts as his dear ole mum? You bet your ass he is! His matching pair of crazypants fit him just fine, thank you.

So the house of the future becomes the house of lies and they’ve dug a deep well of misery to draw from for the next three years. All except delusional mom, who’s happy as can be that her golden boy has come back from the dead.

I love the forbidden incest-angle this show takes. Sneaking around, repressing feelings – our couple are even more captivating now as fake siblings. Hero has perfected the art of saying everything with his eyes. Seriously, how does he do that? There’s a particular scene, right after he’s encouraged his mom to run off – where his wildcat shows up and wants to know where she is. And he doesn’t say anything. Where is she? Where did she go?   Did she go off with my father? What about my mother? What about… us? And he just stands there, dead silent, tormented and twitching and answering every question without breathing a word. Standing ovation at the Oscars. There’s even more of this unspoken communication now that the two are pseudo-related. She hits him with a barrage of questions, he answers with his eyes, we’re captivated by this stellar performance… sigh.

Definitely more intimate than a brother and sister should be.

But don’t worry.  They work it all out.  After more turmoil and tears, of course, but eventually the skies clear and the merciful heavens (and crazy moms) allow our lovers to finally – FINALLY – get together.

There’s more to the show than shoes and apartment makeovers.  Sixteen episodes of a roller coaster ride.  And there’s more characters.  Important characters too, but to hell with them.  Someone else can babble about them in their review.  I fell in love with Will It Snow For Christmas because I fell in love with the hero and the wildcat and their wacky families.  And for the record, I have never understood the title of this show.  Still, I’m going to recommend it – because there’s a sap in everyone.  And this show will definitely warm your heart, regardless of the time of year.

And…

because Goo So is alarmingly attractive.

And really adorable when he’s smitten.